w 0 n d e r L a n d

2004-07-04T02:20:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Mae - Sun
Current mood: annoyed
Currently thinking: why arent i sleeping
Today's horoscope: Remember the caterpillar and the butterfly? People change. Look into it.
Message: ew. my cat's drinking the water out of the fish bowl.

will i shake this off
pretend it's all okay
that there's someone
out there who feels
just like me. there is.
// box car racer

just as we see some sky
i turn my head and then
i close my eyes. i know
that this won't end. it's
just finding out the
right way to begin...
// the early november

you have to know, not
fear, that someday you
are going to die. untill
you know that and
embrace that, you are
useless. // fight club

we spend our whole lives
searching for all the
things we think we want
// the ataris

oh, instincts are misleading
you shouldn't think what
you're feeling. they don't
tell you what you know you
should want..
// death cab for cutie

you told me on your birthday
all the things that this place
has done to you..
// thursday

your hands on me, pressing
hard aganist your jeans,
your tongue in my mouth,
trying to keep the words
from coming out, you
didn't care to know, who
else may have been you before
// bright eyes

2004-06-28T12:16:00.000-04:00

2004-06-26T22:47:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Silverchair - Anna's Song
Current mood: tired
Currently thinking: i always say im tired. i always am tired.
Today's horoscope: You know your limits, but does everyone else? It's up to you to speak up if you aren't feeling comfortable about where things are going.
Message: just a quick post because this song is too good not to be shared. more so the lyrics but the song is pretty damn good too. read all the way through. it looks like it repeats but it doesnt.

The Spill Canvas - Tide

And there's three, count 'em three
children playing on the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach

There's Veronica
She's biting her lip
as she watches the waves turn white at the tip
And there's Vada
Radiating with joy
and luckily she still can't stand the sight of a boy
And lastly there's Dade
His hair dances in the wind
and he's wondering what love is
And why it has to end

And he can't understand
how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends
His mother whispers quietly..
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget anything that you have heard
and live for the moment now

And there's three, count 'em three
children growing on the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach

There's Veronica
She's licking her lips
as she waits for her real, first passionate kiss
And there's Vada
Can't admit her jealousy
of her sister Veronica, and how she's so pretty
Lastly there's Dade
Still sitting on the dock
Ponders his life, and he skips his rocks
And he wonders when his father will return
but he's not coming back

And he can't understand
how everyone goes on breathing when true love ends
His mother whispers quietly..
Heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you actually feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love is just a hoax so forget everything that you have heard

And there's three, count 'em three
children missing from the beach
They were eager to learn,
to be taught and to teach

But the sad thing
is that they never lived pass the age of fifteen
due to neglect from their mother
Who was bed ridden by her ex-lover, their father
She didn't even notice, or pay much attention
as the tide came in and swept her three into the ocean
Now all her advice, it seems useless

No, heaven's not a place that you go when you die
It's that moment in life when you touch her and feel alive
So live for the moment
And take this advice, live by every word
Love's completly real, so forget anything you've heard
and live for the moment now

2004-06-17T23:09:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Radiohead - Amnesaic
Current mood: tired
Currently thinking: fish are so cool
Today's horoscope: You have the mouthpiece and the whole world is listening. So make it good.
Message: what the fuck kind of horoscope is that

but i am too weak to be your cure

i know forever isnt long
enough to forget the
faces and places that
played out your tragedy.
our memory defeats us
all. // boys night out

when my friends all say
im crazy, maybe im
being selfish. maybe
im just scared
// the get up kids

i guess this is what they call killing yourself in small doses

dreams are always crushing
when they don't come true.
but it's the simple dreams
that are often the most
painful because they seem
so personal, so resonable,
so attainable. you're always
close enough to touch, but
never quite close enough
to hold, and it's enough to
break your heart.
// nicholas sparks

i'll need you now, more
like yesterday, the last
day i could see you smile
// hawthorne heights

oh. why. cant. i. be. what. you. need.

and i've become content
with this life that i lead
where i drink too much
and don't believe in much
of anything and i lie to
myself and say
" its for the best "
we're moving forward
but we're holding
ourselves back, and
we're waiting on
something that will never
come.. // straylight run

2004-05-26T23:49:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Straylight Run - Existentialism On Prom Night
Current mood: tired
Currently thinking: .. bad bad omens ..
Today's horoscope: eh.. its too late for this shit.. i read it this morning in tech photo.. it was good
Message: as you can tell.. i'm currently having layout ADD.. but this one is pretty sick.. even though im too tired, annoyed and frustrated to figure out why the black box isnt holding the text and why the scrollbar isnt there and... *yAwN*... anyway.. still a sick layout.. its the old time texas chainsaw massacre.. not that shitty new version.. good nite all

i'm sinking like a stone in the sea
i'm burning like a bridge for your body
// brand new

like a bad star, i'm
falling faster down
to him... he's the
only one who knows
what it is to burn
// finch (some words edited)

when i'm talking to
myself, i'd always
rather be talking
to you...
// brand new

the sun shines sometimes just for you
// spitalfield

oh how wrong we were
to think immortality
meant never dying
// my chemical romance

choose your blade and
carve your name into
my heart.. soothe the
wounds and heal my scars
// vendetta red

this is jack's wasted life
// fight club

and like i really deserve
a chance to sit across the
table and tell you that i
think you're wonderful and
i think you're something
special // juliana theory

just tie the rope
oh and kick the chair
just leave me hanging
there gasping for air
yeah don't mind me
three feet from the
ceiling // the format

2004-05-25T19:35:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: AFI - The Leaving Song Part II
Current mood: annoyed
Currently thinking: this is so eerily cheery compared to all my past layouts..
Today's horoscope: too lazy to get it
Message: 12 days of school left

anything worth having is worth waiting for

tidal waves, they rip
right through me...
tears from eyes worn
cold and sad. pick me
up now, i need you
so bad..
// blink 182

life's no storybook.
love's an excuse to
get hurt. do you like
to hurt? i do
hurt me. hurt me.
// bright eyes

if you were me, you'd be screaming
someone shoot me. // bowling for soup

be optomistic.
all the people you
hate now are
eventually going
to die
// tom green

yesterday i forgot
to breathe for like
the 6th time this
week // atreyu

guaranteed to make your body rock
// beastie boys

today i couldn't stay
awake.. feels like
i'm drowning in this
firewater lake...
i won't be sleeping
much tonight..
// yellowcard

i think its time you
took the chance
and put your hand
in mine...
// mxpx

not another stupid little teenage fucking whore
// senses fail

2004-05-17T19:24:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: The Postal Service - Clark Gable
Current mood: tired
Currently thinking: headache, cant think
Today's horoscope: You may be looking for some new values in your personal life, dear Gemini. You are no longer interested in superficial or frivolous relationships today. You need to meet different kinds of people and to select those of your friends that are really worth keeping. So don't worry if you feel like taking a step back to get some perspective on things, because this is the time to do it. Relationships are too important to you for you to neglect them...
Message: frivolous reminds me of fribbles (spelling?) from Friendlys..

because if my life wasn't a mess...
well... it wouldn't be mine

you and me, you know that we
we're always funny, in that
car crash sort of way
// boys night out

so here's your valentine, bouquet
of clumsy words, a simple melody,
this world's an ugly place, but
you're so beautiful to me
// blink 182

the more you suffer, the more it shows you really care
// the offspring

and i'm screaming at the top of
my lungs, pretending the echoes
belong to someone... someone i
used to know...
// the postal service

i don't know why someone
doesn't throw a big black
umbrella over our heads
and pull us all in out of
the rain...
// a prozac nation

one day you'll see the clear blue, beyond the gray sky
// 311

when you smile, i melt inside,
i'm not worthy of a minute of
your time, i really wish it was
only me and you, i'm jealous
of everybody in the room,
please don't look at me with
those eyes, please don't hint
that you're capable of lies..
// blink 182

but even if we don't have the
power to choose where we come
from, we can still choose where
we go from there. we can still do
things. and we can try to feel
okay about them...
// the perks of being a wallflower

color the coast with your smile
it's the most genuine thing i've ever seen
// dashboard confessional

2004-04-28T22:18:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Brand New - Failure by Design
Current mood: tired
Currently thinking: blah
Today's horoscope: Your life certainly seems to revolve around human contact. You're an outgoing, cheerful, engaging conversationalist who enjoys bringing people together. Oddly, though, lately you've been yearning to be alone. Today, dear Gemini, do not ignore any urge you feel for circumspection. Even though it is an unusual need for you, it is still a valid one...
Message: circumspection.. interesting word..

i kill myself because im so frustrated

when i go forwards
you go backwards
somewhere we will meet
// radiohead

whatever makes you
happy. whatever you
want. you're so fucking
special. i wish i was
special // radiohead

i marvel at the stars... and feel my heart overflow

my problem is, you
make me melt, and
i don't wanna be
frozen anymore
//incubus

and all your plastic
people with plastic
hearts and smiles..
they had the worst
intentions after all..
// death cab for cutie

as i'm waiting around for you...

a pill to make you
numb, a pill to make
you dumb, a pill to
make you anybody
else, but all the
drugs in this world
won't save her from
herself..
// marilyn manson

my baby, im afarid im fallin for you // weezer

my friends all call me
crazy, cause i stay up
late anticipating, and
planning for the day i
sweep you off your feet
// brand new

i feel like nothing
again.. pretending
not to care.. but i
care // starting line

and the sidewalk ended,
but as she turned around
she realized life didn't

2004-04-12T02:33:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Muse - Plug In Baby
Current mood: moodless - if thats possible?
Currently thinking: why am i still awake...
Today's horoscope: A great deal of luck and prosperity is within your grasp at this time, dear Gemini. The only problem is that you might not even notice it because you are so caught up in some emotional drama that is occupying your entire being. Do not concern yourself with issues that do not directly pertain to you. Your time and energy are too precious. Keep your mind focused on your biggest goals.
Message: happy belated easter

there is nothing worse than being ordinary
// american beauty

maybe the past is like
an anchor holding us
back. maybe you have
to let go of who you
were to become who
you will be...
// sex and the city

i make collect calls
to home to tell them
that i realize that
everyone who lives
will someday die...
and die alone
// brand new

everyone's in their own personal coma
// diary

amd for a moment
you felt important
but not in your heart
// sensefield

just for the record,
knowing when people
are only pretending to
like you isn't such a
great skill to have..
// diary

i'll eat your heart out // senses fail

shes like that sore on
the roof of your mouth
that would heal if you
could just stop tounging
it... // fight club

say what you want, say
what you mean, question
yourself, are you really
what you seem? say who
you are, say what you
mean, question yourself,
are you really what you
dream? // dispatch

cause i'm in love with too many things, and i hate everything
// papa roach

we all die. the goal isn't
to live forever, the goal
is to create something
that will.. // diary

it's so nice sitting very
still in a room where no
one else can feel the
pain that breaks my
heart each day.. i'm
not okay...
// senses fail

2004-04-11T12:13:00.000-04:00

once upon a time..... there was a picture here....

fuck you blogger. you're a silly bitch.

2004-04-09T16:53:00.000-04:00

Currently playing: Muse - Time Is Running Out
Current mood: cheery =)
Currently thinking: could it be? is summer coming?
Today's horoscope: You might find that your energy comes in strong, erratic bursts today, dear Gemini. Don't be surprised if you are high as a kite one moment and then down in the dumps the next. Even if you are driving everyone crazy with your yo-yo like behavior, don't let this stop you from keeping on in this fashion. You are probably able to keep very good track of the dozens of things that are going on around you.
Message: so sad the alice in wonderland layout stopped working.. oh well, i needed change anyway.. it was just so incredibly nice out today that i decided to stay home and sleep in the sun instead of going to work =) the sun put me in such a good mood.. or maybe its just my 'yo-yo behavior'.. heh xox

and i have learned so much since you've been gone...

well its so overrated in
not saying how you feel.
so you end up watching
chances fade and
wondering what's real..
// michelle branch

such a charming,
beautiful exterior,
laced with brilliant
smiles and shining eyes.. <33

i love sleep.
my life has this tendency to fall apart when im awake

in the end, peter pan
pulled off tinkerbell's
wings so she could
never leave.. sometimes
love is just another way
to bleed..

things change and friends
leave. life doesn't stop
for anybody...
// the perks of being a wallflower

people do it every day. they talk to themselves.
they see themselves as they'd like to be
// fight club

i'm dying to know.. do
you, do you like dreaming
of things so impossible,
or onlt the practical, or
ever the wild, or waiting
through all your bad, bad
days just to end them
with, someone you care
about.. <33
// dashboard confessional

2004-04-03T13:37:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Lo Pro - Sunday
Current mood: .. blank ..
Currently thinking: dont wanna go to work...
Today's horoscope: irrelevant.. not bothering to put it in..
Message: spring break <333

look at the stars.. look how they shine for you
// coldplay

Alice came to a fork in the
road. "Which fork do I take?"
she asked. "Where do you
want to go?" responded the
Chesire Cat. "I don't know,"
Alice answered. "Then," said
the Cat,
"It doesn't much matter."
// Alice in Wonderland

It was like sawdust, the
unhappiness; it infiltrated
everything. Everything was
a problem, everything made
her cry - school, homework,
boyfriends, the future, the
lack of future, the uncertainity
of future, fear of future,
fear in general - it was so
hard to say exactly what the
problem was in the first
place.. // The Dead Girl

what if you could go back in time
and take all those hours of pain and darkness,
and replace them with something better?
// Donnie Darko

i feel like a big faker,
because i've been putting
my life back together and
nobody knows..
// The Perks of Being A Wallflower

i've got a day and a reason
why i should not believe in
anything anymore. what's
this for? my time well spent,
i've got all these memories
that i cannot believe in
cause i dont know where i've
been all these years.. all
these years...
// The Early November

and you know its not so easy
when you're all alone...
// The Early November

it's like, there's this one
person that you want to
be for other people, to
make them happy and to
make them proud of you..
and then there's yourself.
and sometimes it's hard
to tell where one ends and
the other begins...

standing on the edge of the
morning, scent of sex and
New Found Glory playing as
she pulls back her hair. she
drives away. she's feeling
worthless, used but nothing's
different. she'd stay the night
but knows he doesnt care...
// Something Corporate

Talk Shit - Spit Blood. It's A Valuable Lesson.

2004-03-14T20:31:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Trapt - Echo
Currently wearing: t-shirt, shorts
Current mood: -_- eh
Currently thinking: what a dissapointing horoscope
Today's horoscope: What exactly is your hurry? You're so fixated on procedure that the quality of your experience goes unnoticed. Get used to the dominant reality -- it's going to be with you for a while.
Message: .......

he takes me in his arms.. and then.. i wake up
// sleeping beauty

the world is so much better
when you're dreaming...
// the youth ahead

i've been up all night long
counting days that all went
wrong. i opened my bedroom
window. i wish this pain
was gone...
//box car racer

sometimes you just need to be loved
to feel beautiful...
// Guitar Girl

i feel like i'm spinning
out of control, trying to
focus but everything's
twisted. and all along i
thought you would be
there, to let me know
i'm not alone... but in
fact, that's exactly
what i am...
// hoobastank

i know i'm not perfect
but i can smile and i
hope that you can see
this heart behind my
tired eyes...
// dido

unprepared for a life full of lies
and failing relationships
// brand new

i close my eyes when i
go to bed and i dream
of angels who make
me smile. i feel better
when i hear them say,
everything will be
wonderful someday...
// everclear

there's only one cloud
in the sky, and it's
raining on me.. somehow
i'm not suprised.
// eeyore

2004-03-09T19:36:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Dashboard Confessional - Rapid Hope Loss
Currently wearing: lacrosse stuff..
Current mood: colddd
Currently thinking: *blank*
Today's horoscope: not interesting.. so not bothering to put it in today..
Message: um.. yeah..

in the game of seduction.. there is only one rule:
never fall in love
// Cruel Intentions

i want a lover i don't
have to love.. i want a
boy who's so drunk, he
doesn't talk...
// bright eyes

there's an emptiness
inside of her, and she'd
do anything to fill it in,
but all the colors mix
together to gray, and it
breaks her heart...
// dave matthews band

it's one of those days. again. // eeyore

love.. is the rug they pull
out from under you.. love
is lucy always lifitng the
football at the last second
so charlie brown falls on
his ass. love is something
that every time you believe
in it, it goes away. love is
for suckers and i'm not
going to be a sucker ever
again.. // good in bed

they say you need to pray
if you want to go to heaven,
but they don't tell you what
to say when your whole life
has gone to hell...
// brand new

it would be so nice if something
made sense for a chance
// alice in wonderland

i don't know if you've ever
felt like that. that you wanted
to sleep for a thousand years.
or just not exist. or just not
be aware that you do exist.
or something like that. i think
wanting that is very morbid,
but i want it when i get like
this. that's why i'm trying
not to think. i just want it
all to stop spinning...
// the perks of being a wallflower

it's only after you've lost everything
that you're free to do anything
// fight club

dusk, i realized then, is just
an illusion, because the sun is
either above the horizon or
below it. and that means that
day and night are linked in a
way that few things are; there
cannot be one without the other,
yet they cannot exist at the
same time. how would it feel,
to be always together, yet
forever apart?
// nicholas sparks
this quote reminds me of someone....

2004-03-02T21:01:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Deborah Cox - Play Your Part (techno remix)
Currently wearing: t-shirt, jeans
Current mood: sick =(
Currently thinking: interesting horoscope..
Today's horoscope: You've been avoiding an uncomfortable discussion, and it's time to let your feelings be known. Instead of just going home and waiting for things to blow over, talk it through casually over lunch or dinner.
Message: i think im sick... its getting nice out... lacrosse starts soon...

you make me feel like i am whole again

after awhile.. you
can make yourself
believe in almost
anything..
// saves the day

sometimes if you
really want to
make thing work,
you have to keep
your mouth shut
and put your heart
aside...

i don't want to need you
because i know i cant have you
// bridges of madison county

and the stars just sit
there and glimmer like
they don't notice how
we're dying inside..
and the rain still pours
and mocks us in our death..
and the world goes on
when all the hearts are
broken..

i live on a little planet
called reality.. where
things like that [love]
don't really happen..
// bed of roses

if you dont fall in love, you cant get hurt..
but it sure is lonley all by yourself...
// now and then

there's so much i've
felt i should say.. but
even if your heart
would listen.. i doubt
i could explain...
// jimmy eat world

if i could have any job
in the world, i'd be a
professional Cinderella
// girl interrupted

2004-02-25T21:46:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Yellowcard - Breathing
Currently wearing: t-shirt, jeans
Current mood: spacey -_-
Currently thinking: *blank*
Today's horoscope:Your friends may notice that you're not your usual cheery self today, dear Gemini. A fit of gloom may have descended on you. You're probably doubting everything that's happening in your life. No matter how promising career, romance, and money matters appear, you might just feel that you're not going anywhere with any of it. Treat yourself today. Get a massage, relax in a hot tub, and rub and soak out those doubting spirits. That'll get you through the day, and tomorrow you'll be back to normal.
Message: bleeehh..

love the life you live.. live the life you love

all i ever wanted was
to pick apart the day,
put the pieces back
together my way..
// aesop rock

screws fall out all the
time.. the world is an
imperfect place..

when all else fails.. keep breathing

fuck that! fuck making it
better. it's not getting
better! i don't know how
to make it better and i
swear to God you don't
either..
// when a man loves a woman

the meaning of life? that's
easy. the meaning of life
is to be happy, try not to
hurt people, and hope that
you fall in love..

falling in love is so hard on the knees
// aerosmith

2004-02-10T14:38:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Ingrid - You Promised Me
Currently wearing: t-shirt, jeans
Current mood: perkyyy
Currently thinking: my horoscope is long
Today's horoscope: What would happen if you just simply decided to take care of yourself today, dear Gemini? This is what the planets are trying to tell you. You need to relax, to be taken care of, and to close you eyes and dream or fall asleep. Leave those daily tasks behind you. You need peace and quiet. Lie down and empty your mind of all your worries. You don't need to act, you don't need to react, just lie down and relax...
Message: God! today was SO boring! the result of me taking a little too much Nyquil at 3 PM is my 16 hours of sleep and not enough body power to move and go to school in the morning... instead, i stayed home, watched FUSE and listened to party 105. the most productive thing i did all day.. was plucking my eyebrows.. and the most exciting thing that happened to me all day.. was finding Tony the Tiger stickers in my Frosted Flakes box.. ha.. hope everyone's day was just as exciting as mine

our generation has had no Great
War, no Great Depression. our
war is spiritual. our depression
is our lives..

love is a snowmobile racing
across the tundra, and then
suddenly it flips over, pinning
you underneath. at night, the
ice weasels come...

she whispers into the mirror... "i'm broken..."

sometimes i wish i had never
met you.. because then i could
go to sleep at night not knowing
there was someone like you out
there.. // good will hunting

don't get your hopes too high
cause when things don't turn
out right.. your world comes
crashing down... // the ataris

i want to feel safe in my skin, i just want to be happy again

just one last time can i call
you sweetheart?.. why do
all good things come to an
end... // the ataris

you said, "tonight is a wonderful
night to die." i asked, how could
you tell? and you told me to look
at the sky. "look at all those stars.
look at how goddamn ugly the
stars are."
// alkaline trio

2004-02-08T19:44:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Blink 182 - I Miss You
Currently wearing: t shirt, shorts
Current mood: -_- crappy
Currently thinking: *thoughtless*
Today's horoscope: You have little patience with people that don't get it. Feathers will be ruffled, and doors may slam in anger. If you alienate those that seem extraneous now, you'll miss them later.
Message: God my horoscope is so painfully right... anyway.. i've come to notice that all those cartoons i watch all the time have good quotes (ex: romance is for the weak - The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy) so today's post is chock-full of those..

quotes get you through the days..
when you think no one knows
what you are going through

this is my December.. these are
my snow covered dreams.. this
is me pretending.. this is all i
need.. // linkin park

i can't keep being you're
second choice.. not when
you're my first..
// everwood

The Things I Do For Love - Courage the Cowardly Dog

Dory: please don't go away.. please?
no one's ever stuck with me for so
long before. and if you leave.. if you
leave.. i just.. i remember things better
when i'm with you. i do, look.. p sherman
forty-two... forty-two... i remember it,
i do. its there, i know it is, because
when i look at you, i can feel it. and..
and i look at you.. and i'm home. please.
i don't want that to go away.. i don't
want to forget.. // Finding Nemo
i especially love this quote.. there's a
lot more in it than it's real intention..

if i told you this was killing me.. would you stop?
// the juliana theory

there's only one cloud in the sky..
and its raining on me.. somehow
i'm not suprised..
// eeyore

i'm so sick of immaturity. of name-calling.
of labels. of gossip. of highschool. it
doesn't make sense anymore.. and i find
myself being nice to people that i want
to strangle... // chanel

2004-02-05T19:54:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: tv in the background (Daria)
Currently wearing: t shirt, jeans
Current mood: -_- alone
Currently thinking: my head hurts
Today's horoscope: Go ahead and listen to intuition, but don't act on it just yet. Your first gut reaction may not be the smartest one to follow, so some more thinking on your part should be done before you give your final answer.
Message: blaaahhhhh

hope is wasted on the hopeless

ive got something up my
sleeve that i dont want to
show you.. cause every
time i bleed.. i make a
fool of me.. // sugarcult

counting stars wishing i
was okay.. crashing down
was my biggest mistake..
// sugarcult

you're so good at pretending everything is alright..

and the stars aren't out
tonight but neither are
we to look up at them..
why does hello feel like
goodbye? these wishes
i wished and these
dreams i chased.. take
this broken heart and
make it right..
// matchbox romance

my life is fading sick and
tired of wasting time.. my
back is breaking underneath
all these lies.. right now im
feeling that no ones gonna
help me out but myself..
// diffuser

romance is for the weak

2004-02-04T19:58:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Dashboard Confessional - Age Six Racer
Currently wearing: t-shirt, jeans
Current mood: =/ blah
Currently thinking: my horoscope sucks
Today's horoscope: Today is not a great day for inspiring enthusiasm in others, Gemini. You might find that there is a sober, conservative tone to the day that is stealing the fuel from your fire. Realize that this is just a part of the natural cycle of things. Don't feel that you need to be up and bouncing around all the time. Give yourself a rest and focus your energy inward. Settle your nerves and get down to business.
Message: i had such a weird day today.. i had the weirdest dream last night.. and then i had the weirdest day in school.. and i fell asleep in english and had another weird dream.. and then i had a really weird afternoon.. weeiiirrrddddd...

in the end.. we're alone..
so why not get used to it now?

you do something to me..
that i can't explain..
so would it be out of line..
if i said.. i miss you...

and the way the rain comes
down hard.. thats how i feel
inside...

you remind me of the times when i knew who i was..

here's my heart..
break it..
i dont need it anymore...

now im sitting
face to face
with lonliness..

i never said goodbye...

i wish that i didnt feel like i was
something i missed.. take all the
things i said to you to make you
feel like this.. and i'd give it all
away just to have someone to
go to.. give it all away to have
someone to come home to..

2004-02-03T19:24:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Deepest Blue - Deepest Blue
Currently wearing: t-shirt, jeans, my red vans & my ripped SWR sweatshirt
Current mood: -_- tired..
Currently thinking: rain rain go away...
Today's horoscope: Pouting is only cute in the movies -- say what's on your mind or let it drop. Don't let today's mood be the source of tomorrow's embarrassment.
Message: im tired.. i took a nap and am now deciding it was a bad choice for me to wake up so soon.. blehhhh..

life is a sexually transmitted disease

all the bad boys are standing
in the shadows.. all the good
girls are home with broken
hearts.. // tom petty

it seems like everyday
is the worst day of my life
// office space

sometimes its sad like that..

here's a thought if you're willing
to listen.. dont push love away..
you know you do.. its all we
have.. its a chore holding onto
a vision.. dont leave her high
and dry.. shes the one you'll be
missing.. // the juliana theory

why am i so attracted to drama?
// the ataris

2004-02-01T22:43:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Laava - Wherever You Are
Currently wearing: red coca-cola shirt, tilt jeans
Current mood: -_- frustrated
Currently thinking: tom brady is so hot
Fortune cookie: ((since i got a fortune cookie today, i decided this was cooler than my horoscope)) If your desires are not too extravagant, they will be granted.
Message: oh yes.. superbowl sunday =) had the girls over to cheer on the panthers but i guess tom brady's hotness took over..

be kind.. for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle

its been a bad day.. another
bad day.. and i cross my heart
and hope to die..
// something corporate

people are always going to talk
so.. you might as well give them
something worth talking about..
// The OC

its logical logic
the quickest way to ruin a relationship with someone
is to actually try and have a relationship with them..

when i feel blue . i think of you .
cause you're true . wherever you
are . near or far . you still are .
my shining star . sometimes its
mad . things get bad . and i am
sad . wherever you are . there
is light . by my side . i feel
aright . and words can not
desribe . how i miss you . so much..
// Laava

been a long time.. since i got
along fine.. since i felt my
own rythm.. running down
my spine..
// Dutch

You Were Born An Original Don't Die A Copy

these wounds wont seem to heal
the pain is just too real
there's just too much
that time can't erase
// evanescence

die young and save yourself

2004-01-31T22:18:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Armin Van Buren - Burned With Desire
Currently wearing: beater and terry cloth pants
Current mood: -_- ugh
Currently thinking: im cold
Today's horoscope: Don't walk the other way if you spot trouble coming down the hall. The disagreement may not be as serious as you think. Stand tall and be confident. Sooner or later you're going to have to face the music.
Message: ive come to the conclusion that my family blows balls.. and that, being half black, tanning every time im upset or having a bad day isn't too good for me.. oh well

i am not the kind of girl
who thinks a guy is the answer to everything..
i'm just tired of being alone...

a modern Romeo..
you came on Cupid's wings..
and then you flew away..
and you left me in the rain..
// Armin Van Buren

just a little more love.. just
a little more peace.. is all
it takes, to live the dream..
// David Guetta

its normal for things to be shitty

woke up yesterday.. with
you on my mind.. im so
afarid of running out of
time.. so come around
again and i'll show you
what i mean.. and you
can tell me exactly what
you need..
// taking back sunday

after all.. you can only be
in a bad mood for so long
before you have to face
up to the fact that it isn't
a bad mood at all. it's just
your sucky personality.

2004-01-29T22:14:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Chingy - One Call Away
Currently wearing: what i wore to school
Current mood: bubbly =p
Currently thinking: *thoughtless*
Today's horoscope: Say what's on your mind. If direct conversation is impossible, send an email or write a letter, but get it done. Problems can only be solved once they're acknowledged.
Message: weeeeee.. midterms are no fun =p.. i was talking to meesh on the phone before and we were talking about furby. of course you remember furby. you were like not cool unless you had one of those obnoxious looking freak robots that made noises and always seems to be named "cocoa".. how sad..

always felt i was outside
looking in on you..
you were always the mysterious one..

if tomorrow never comes.. i
would want just one more
thing.. i would tell it to the
stars and the sun.. i would
write it for the world to see..
... its you ...
// michelle branch

we can live like jack and sally
if we want.. where you can
always find me.. we'll have
halloween on christmas..
and in the night we'll wish
this never ends.. i miss you..
// blink 182

you're my heart.. and you can't live without your heart
- Johnny Depp in Blow

you have brains in your head
you have feet in your shoes
you can steer yourself
in whatever direction you choose
// dr. seuss

the difficult years in your life
end up being the greatest
years of your whole life..
if you survive them

come close.. wrap me in your arms..
and say you want me too..

2004-01-21T17:52:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Ludacris - Splash Waterfalls
Currently wearing: what i wore to school
Current mood: o-) amused
Currently thinking: im cold..
Today's horoscope: All plans are out the window. Forget about showing your love by slow degrees. At the sight of that lovely face, something snaps inside you, and your feelings come spilling out. Even if the other person isn't ready, he or she is impressed.
Message: oh boy.. the chesire cat is back!.. i also added my horoscope.. and once again had a little fun picking out today's mood (its a cyclops by the way).. anyway.. what a lovely 2 hours of school we had today.. had an interesting afternoon (<3 Donnie Darko and Nick GAS).. and now im cold, bored, and tired.. however.. daddy just graced me with the news of a vacation planned in March (oh yes, i will be missing school) to go to Las Vegas.. brittney is excited =D.. well.. good bye for now dear children who actually read this random shit.. =* xox

the radio plays a love song..
i smash my fist right through the dial..
here's to the broken hearted..
a generation born in denial..

appreciate the good times
but don't take the worst for granted
because you only get so many second chances

life is what happens to you
when you're busy making other plans

being grown up isn't half as fun as growing up..
these are the best days of our lives

it's the way.. that he makes you feel..
it's the way.. that he kisses you..

i've got a twenty dollar bill...
that says you don't think about me
half as much as i think about you..

i write mostly on hotel paper.. knowing
that my thoughts will never leave this room..
i'd be out of line telling you, "leave her".. so i
lie lonely surrounded by you.. and i wanted to
be giving you everything that she's not giving..
and i wanted to see.. cause i didn't believe
what i'd been hearing // michelle branch

2004-01-20T22:44:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Orgy - Dreams In Digital
Currently wearing: what i wore to school
Current mood: upside down..
Currently thinking: oh boy.. George Bush is on tv talking about 'thugs' and STDs again..
Message: wow.. im so awesome.. i just made the BEST quesadillas.. they had cheese.. and peppers.. mmmm im an awesome cook.. anyyywayyy.. i had fun picking out a word for todays mood.. i was going to choose effervescent but i have not a fucking clue what that means.. i had such a shitty day.. even my horoscope sucked.. not that anyone cares that i had a bad horoscope today.. just commenting.. lol aright.. xox

you can be.. who you choose to be..
whether you do, or whether you don't
depends on your priorities..
and i know that it's not easy..

i'll wait until tomorrow.. maybe you'll
feel better than.. maybe we'll be better
than.. it seems worth the wait to see
you smile again.. out of the corner of
your eye won't be the only way you're
looking at me then.. // dbc

after he breaks your heart.. then
you'll be sad.. so sad.. and then
your teardrops start, i tell you..
then you'll know..
how it hurts to be alone..

i aint tripping..
im just missin you..

guilty by design.. shes nothing
more then fiction.. she dreams
in digital.. cause its better then
nothing.. now that control is gone..
it seems unreal, shes dreaming
in digital.. she dreams in digital..
// orgy - fiction (dreams in digital)

im still waiting for someone..
to take up all my free time..

she took a chance on romance..
without even knowing his name..

your star.. it seems to shine..
above the rest..

high hopes and wishful thinking
have been keeping me up too late..

2004-01-19T20:18:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Aaliyah - Come Over
Currently wearing: pjs + fuzzy slippers
Current mood: =/ lonley..
Currently thinking: oh boy.. its been awhile
Message: oh yes.. this thing.. sort of forgot about it.. i got mad at my computer and it got mad back at me sooo now its being fixed by meeshy's brother (thank you sean!) until then.. i use the downstairs computer =D anyway.. i saw this movie today -- Donnie Darko -- and its about this kid who sees this like 7 foot tinfoil rabbit and it talks to him and tells him to kill people.. idk fucked up..

man it takes a silly girl to lie about the dreams she has..
lord it takes a lonley one to wish she never dreamt at all..

dream maker.. make my dreams come true tonight..
if i close my eyes.. would you hold me tight all night?..

still everything that you want you could get it
boy you know i still got love for you..

basically what we have here.. is a dreamer
someone completely out of touch with reality..
[[ when she jumped ]]
she probaly thought she would fly

i have been meaning to call you.. ive just been so busy
we will catch up soon.. lets make it a point to..

you know what they say...
third time's a charm..

2003-12-25T17:12:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: The Psychedelic Waltons - Wonderland
Currently wearing: jeans, t-shirt, fuzzy slippers
Current mood: =/ lonley
Currently thinking: *thoughtless*
Message: this holiday season sucked.. nothing cheery happened.. there's no "magical holiday couples".. Santa jipped me.. i spent christmas eve and christmas day alone.. and have been listening to techno and voluntarily cleaning all day since im not doing anything family related like normal people.. anyway.. cleaning was more of a trip down memory lane (you'd be suprised how many memories 14 years could hold..) and i found all sorts of weird stuff in my closet.. like my 8th grade night stillettos.. what the hell was i doing wearing stillettos when my boyfriend of the time was friggin like 4"9.. and then i found all these pictures and stuff i wrote when i was little.. i was really cute but really fat haha and all these stupid little things (like old poems, projects, essays..) i found that made me feel so special when i was 10 were so retarded lol.. i also realized i need to stop buying bags and shoes.. i'm running out of room.. anyway.. merry christmas everybody, i hope everyones holiday season is a lot better than mine.. xox

Christmas waves a magic wand over this world
and behold..
everything is softer and more beautiful..

if there is no joyus way to give a festive gift..
give love away..

because nobody should be alone
on Christmas..

i don't want a lot for Christmas..
there is just one thing i need..
i don't care about the presents
underneath the christmas tree..
i just want you for my own
more than you could ever know
make my wish come true..
baby all i want for christmas
is.. you.. // Mariah Carey
* you know who you are... *

2003-12-24T18:35:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Dana Rayne - Object of my Desire
Currently wearing: t-shirt, jeans, fuzzy slippers
Current mood: =( worthless..
Currently thinking: theres no more flavor left in my gum..
Message: ooh wee.. havnt been here in quite some time.. winter vacaaaaaaa.. umm the holiday season sucks and the winter sucks and the weather sucks but... vacations are always appreciated.... anyway.. its christmas eve and im doing nothing.. and im doing nothing tomorrow too.. pretty exciting!.. big family party here on sunday though.. but who cares? nothing special about sunday? of course my family does parties on the non-special-after-the-holiday-already-happened days.. blahhhhhh

and you know i cant lie when i say...
my dreams will never come true without you..

take love.. multiply it by infinity.. and take it to the depths
of forever.. and then you'll still only have a glance of
how i feel for you..

i've already found my prince charming..
but i know in the end of my fairy tale..
he's never gonna be mine..

in a room full of people..
you're always the first person i look for

waiting is the worst part of life
however.. having someone worth waiting for..
might just be the best..

through the fire, to the limit, to the wall..
for just to be with you.. i'd gladly risk it all..
through the fire, through whatever come what may..
for a chance at loving you.. i'd take it all the way...
right down to the wire.. even through the fire..
// kanye west - through the wire

and you're giving me nothing..
and if you're ready to be my everything..
if you're ready to see it through this time..
and if you're ready for love then this i will
bring.. but i'm not gonna wait for you
forever this time.. and if you're ready to
be.. ready to be my everything.. and if
you're ready to see it through this time..
if you're ready for love then baby.. this i
will bring but i'm not gonna wait forever
this time.. // fefe dobson - everything

2003-12-16T19:04:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: listening to party 105
Currently wearing: what i wore to school + fuzzy slippers
Current mood: =) in love
Currently thinking: i'm cold.. again.. damnit..
Message: *yAwN* blahh.. without field hockey.. and work.. life is so.. repetitive.. blahhh.. thank God i'll be working again soon.. hmmmm and this weeks the dance ("Snowball" nice choice of name haha) should be interesting haha.. thennnn... winter vacaaaa oh yeeeaaahhhh

dont you think for a moment..
that i wouldnt die for you..

im still waiting for someone to come . . . . .
and make all the wrong things right . .
so wont you come and take me away tonight?

just smile for me. . and let the day begin. .
you are the sunlight that lights my heart from within..

love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does..
love is a battle.. love is a war.. love is growing up. . . .

nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them..

2003-12-15T14:27:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: nothing
Currently wearing: what i wore to school
Current mood: crappy...
Currently thinking: im cold.. and i feel like shit
Message: havnt been here in awhile.. not much to say.. x0x

change is never easy..
you fight to hold on..
you fight to let go..

i'm here for the taking...
its just a matter of whether you want it or not

the moment you feel like giving up..
just remember why you held on for so long..

sometimes i wish i could fast forward time..
just to see if in the end..
its all worth it..

theres always gonna be that one guy...
that no matter what he does,
or how much he hurts you,
you still cant let him go..

i've got it all figured out..
we can make it..
and i'll never let you down.
just take my hand..

you're all i need..
please believe in me..

2003-12-10T19:53:00.000-05:00

Currently playing: Let's Get It On In Public - idk who sings it
Currently wearing: what i wore to school + fuzzy slippers
Current mood: tiredd..
Currently thinking: funny funny song..
Message: My Horoscope: You are at an emotional crossroads today. The passion in your relationship might be pleasant, but the chemistry and conversation are vulnerable to analysis and the feeling that there might be something better out there. Proceed with caution. hmm.. interesting..

i want you here by my side..
cold nights and fires and white wine..
and dreams of holidays to come

and it only hurts when im breathing
my heart only breaks when its beating
my dreams only die when im dreaming
so i hold my breath.. to forget..

you spend all your time
preaching about waiting for love..
well here it is..
right in front of you..
and your going to turn your back on it

you love simply because
you cannot help it

theres nothing more that i would like
than to be with you..

you're in love..
when nobody can understand the way you feel..

2003-12-08T17:15:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: R Kelly & some guy - Hotel
Currently wearing: what i wore to school + fuzzy slippers
Current mood: confused =/
Currently thinking: i always get fuzzy slipper fetishes around winter time..
Message: heh.. havnt been here in quite sometime.. death to snow, winter, and the cold.. even tho my snowy weekend was fun (snowed in @ the bush house yeahh yeahh haha) i still hate winter.. christmas is cool.. just not the snow, the cold, or winter itself.. ummm.. changed my thingy.. all blue and pretty.. match the ice and cold-ness of winter.. yeeaahh..

everyone asks why do you love him?
it's okay..
i don't want them to understand..
because then they would love him too

sometimes you wake up..
sometimes the fall kills you..
and sometimes..
when you fall..
you f l y . . .

you are the world to me..
maybe one day you will see me
the way i see you..

you know that place between sleep and awake
where you can still remember dreaming..
thats where i'll always love you..
thats where i'll be waiting..

we make a connection
but you seem to push me
far away from you..

so i would choose to be with you..
as if the choice were mine to make..

2003-12-01T19:38:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: christmas music
Currently wearing: what i wore to school + fuzzy slippers
Current mood: =( hopeless
Currently thinking: i need to re-paint my nails
Message: what exactly do we live for in life? do you ever jus sit down and think about that? everyone walks around w/ fake smiles on their faces, preaching about life being some bowl of cherries, but if you actually take the time to sit down and think about things, life is really a crock of shit. most people spend their life basing everything on that little thing called love. love. does that shit even exist? i mean come on.. little girls grow up watching Disney movies thinking that they're gonna grow up and fall in love, and that no matter how hard things get, their Prince Charming will come to get them. or you listen to all those love songs where everything turns out alright, or about those people in perfect relationships. Prince Charming.. perfect relationships.. my ass. all you ever do is waste your time in some stupid little fantasy that you know will never happen yet you try anyway. and by the time you're finally ready to accept the fact that it's never going to be, and that you should just give up and get over it, cause you're sick of the shit, and you're sick of crying yourself to sleep every night.. once you're able to realize all that.. you also realize that it's too late. you're too deep in over your head and now you just end up spending every waking moment stressing yourself over un-needed shit. what kind of life is that? think about that..

love is rare..
life is strange..
nothing lasts..
people change..

falling in love is easy.
its falling out of love that takes a bit of practice

if he doesn't take the time to love you..
don't take the time to love him

when you finally realize you didn't matter at all to someone..
you begin to wonder if you matter to anyone

do not fall into the trap of pretending everything's fine
when you know it's not

the hardest thing about growing up
is that you have to do what's best for you,
even if that mean's breaking someone's heart..
including your own..

the strongest person you see all day..
may be the one
who cries themselves to sleep at night

the hardest part about walking away
is knowing that you'll never run after me..

2003-11-30T18:16:00.000-05:00

Just a little update.. took this quiz on Quizilla.. thought this was funny as hell..

Gangbang movie! You're such a horndog! You can't
get enough sex! You've been around the block.
People might even go so far as to call you a
nympho. Chances are, you're a walking STD. Go
get tested.

What kind of porno would you star in?
brought to you by Quizilla

2003-11-30T12:09:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: christmas music on some radio station
Currently wearing: t shirt, shorts, fuzzy slippers
Current mood: unsure =/
Currently thinking: i wanna go back to sleep..
Message: havnt written in awhile.. sorry.. too much shit lately.. will make this longer than normal.. yeah..

and i just want to walk away..
wont you let me walk away sometimes?
wont you let me walk away..

i thought you should know
you're not making this easy..

there's just no one that gets me
like you do..
you're my only one..

let me be angry please..
its the only way i can keep you
from knowing how much i need you..

its like you wanted to see how bad you could hurt me,
how many times you could make me cry,
before i finally got mad

just when i thought my life
was coming together..
i realized..
it was just starting to fall apart..

- life doesn't hurt until you have time to yourself to think about how things have changed, who you've lost along the way, and how much shit is your fault..

most of us ask for advice
when we know the answer
but want a different one

- do you want me to tell you something really subversive? love is everything it's cracked up to be. that's why people are so cynical about it. it really is worth fighting for, being brave for, risking everything for. and the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more..

- im sorry for wanting so much from so far away. but maybe the truth is that i am too in love with you, the way i am too in love with everyone, and i'm just scared. stupid, young, and scared. and a million other things that i can't get away from, because you can't get away from who you are, no matter how much you hate it or lie about it. i'm so sick of lying. i'm so sick of telling the truth. i want another opinion

there is nothing special
about falling in love..
this is habit,
this is routine,
this is a learned, natural ability..

i just cant help but realize
how he's made me so weak..
that by the time he's ready to love me,
i won't have anything left in me
to love him back..

i used to think that if i loved you enough,
you would realize it
and love me back.
but i can only love so much
for so long..

2003-11-24T18:23:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Amber - Anyway
Currently wearing: jeans, black tank, swr sweatshirt
Current mood: confused =/
Currently thinking: im thirsty
Message: blahhhh.. i feel like shittt.. school is so damn boring.. its jus so.. repetitive.. jeez.. need some variety in life every now and then.. well than again only two days this week so thats cool..

its hard to believe that i would let myself
get so wrapped into you..
there's gotta be something that would
be worthwhile for me to give to you.
we need a connection but you
seem to push me far away from you..

so dont be a liar
dont say that
"everythings working"
when everythings broken..
and you smile like a saint
but you curse like a sailor.
and your eyes say the jokes on me..

and i would be there every time you'd need me..
i'd be there every time..
but for now i'll look so longingly, waiting..
for you to want me, for you to need me,
for you to notice me..

lie to me.. give me something worth living for..
tell me a reason worth fighting for..
give me anything..
anything to keep me breathing..
lie to me..

i love you more than you will ever know..

2003-11-23T23:06:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Kate Ryan - Lift Me Higher
Currently wearing: jeans, lax jamboree t-shirt
Current mood: in love =(
Currently thinking: my face is all tingly =D
Message: well as i was doing my homework, i decided that my weekend really sucked and homework was the last thing i wanted to do so instead i've decided to paint my nails and my toe nails and i have one of those facial masky things on so tomorrow i can go into school feeling all pretty and re-freshed cause yeh, my weekend really really sucked.. oh well, tomorrows an all new week with all new possibilities!=) x0x

theres something about the look in your eyes
something i noticed when the light was just right
it reminded me twice that i was alive
and it reminded me that you're so worth the fight

i dont believe that anybody feels the way i do about you now
there are many thingys that i would like to say to you
but i dont know how..
maybe its because you're gonna be the one that saves me..

i'm just a girl..
standing in front of a boy..
asking him to love her..

even though i love you so much.. you're so stupid. completely oblivious to the fact that right in front of you is a girl; who dreams about you every night, who would treat you like a king, who would never stop loving you.. and yet you go after those other girls and wonder why your love life is hell..

and no one is left alone
and im offering you myself right now..
take me.. im yours..
and i wont have it any other way..

2003-11-21T17:32:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Lasgo - Alone
Currently wearing: jeans, white shirt
Current mood: discouraged =(
Currently thinking: today.. blew.. anus..
Message: my oh my.. how today did suck.. its like the more this day goes on, the worse shit gets!!

all the times that i felt this wont end
its for you..
and i waste more time than anyone
but i feel tomorrow will be okay..

and you've got me
almost melting away..

i wake up and think dreams are real..
i sleep so i dont have to feel..
the truth that you can never be,
the one person
that wont ever forget me..

you spend all your time preaching
about waiting for love..
well here it is..
right in front of you.
but you're going to turn your back on it..

you know that place between sleep and awake,
the place where you still remember dreaming?
thats where i'll always love you
thats where i'll be waiting..

2003-11-19T16:48:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: vocal trance
Currently wearing: jeans, pink shirt, white zip up
Current mood: affectionate =)
Currently thinking: wow im tireddddd
Message: so happyyy! i LOVEEEEE alice in wonderland and i especially LOVE the cheshire cat!!! yayyy aright well hope everyones enjoying this as much as i am! haha x0x!

i love you for who you are
no more.. no less..
and you know i cant lie when i say
my dreams will never come true
without you..

and no one is left alone
and im offering you myself right now..
take me, im yours..
and i wont have it
any other way

treat today
as if it wont exist tomorrow

hope is a good thing
and good things never die

destiny is what you make of it..

2003-11-18T16:02:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: 4 Strings - Take Me Away
Currently wearing: jeans, white tank, black v neck
Current mood: happyyyy =)
Currently thinking: i have the hiccups!!
Message: okay i was doing my homework and then i realized i had to pee, so when i went to pee, i realized there was no toilet paper, so i went to my parents bathroom to get toilet paper (cause my dad buys those big bad utility things but he keeps them in their bathroom) and i restocked my bathroom with toilet paper but as i was putting the toilet paper in the cabinets in my bathroom, i realized my razors were all a mess! cause my dad buys me razors in big bad utility things too but its so annoying because theres like 6 razors per plastic bag and then they put all the plastic bags in the box and dont you think its a little stupid to open the box and then have to open the bags? and each time im done with the 6 i have to open a new bag! so i decided to take alll the razors out of the bags and jus put them in the box! jeez! why do things have to be so complicated for razors! i swear when im president (first black female president, hell yes), i'll make sure stupid things arent complicated like that! and now i dont even have my homework done and i have lax later so its not like i can sit around and do nothing like i normally do! okay well heres some random quotes since i dont feel like finding sad depressing ones =) x0x!

you know its real
when you cant describe how it feels

when you love someone
you're always insecure

we spend most of our time
talking about nothing..
but i just want to let you know
that all of those nothings,
mean so much more to me,
than so many some things

dont let your feelings conquer your life

where you are,
thats where i want to be.
and through your eyes,
are the things i wanna see.
and in the night,
you are my dreams.
you're everything to me

2003-11-17T20:18:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Lucy Carr - Missing You
Currently wearing: jeans, quater sleeved sweater thing, fuzzy slippers =)
Current mood: bad mood.. sick too..
Currently thinking: this gum has no flavor left..
Message: changed the thingy again.. the stupid dates arent working.. bad day.. bad mood.. sick.. i think im like the only person who didnt go to the field hockey dinner.. ehh.. i dont think im goin to school tomorrow.. probaly gonna come for spanish only since i cut that stupid class too many times already.. xox

im so afarid to love you
but more afarid to lose..
clinging to a past
that doesnt let me choose..

you're better off without him
don't call him..
he's breaking your heart

sometimes you have to let go of someone
to see if there's anything there
to hold on to..

im at the point
where i jus wanna spread my wings and fly..
yet i still want the comfort of knowing
he'll catch me if i fall..

you're waiting for someone to put you together
you're waiting for someone to push you away..
there's always another wound to discover
there's always something more you wish he'd say..

2003-11-16T21:56:00.000-05:00
Update: was gettin sick of that pink and black thing so yepp.. changed everything.. umm probaly wont last long because its really complicated so ummm if you like it.. thats nice.. lol aright now i gotta go study for bio.. x0x

2003-11-16T15:48:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Alicia Keys - You Don't Know My Name
Currently wearing: jeans, black tank top, red v neck
Current mood: confused.. kinda..
Currently thinking: haha.. the giggles..
Message: i'd jus like to say that i love my friends and girls rule and all my friends rule and we're all having serious guy crisis's lately but you know what.. f the world.. f life.. you only live once, so f-ing LIVE IT UP
p.s. keeping this at a g-rated version ;o)

true friends are the people
that are there for you unconditionally.
they are the people
that never question you,
and support you no matter what
the circumstances are.
they are the people worth living for..

so i'm left wondering..
there is much left I wish that I could say to you.
silence I keep,
for fear of breaking myself down,
and maybe getting through,
getting through to you..

another day in my life,
another day,
i'm insecure,
how i'm portrayed in this world..
and now I know,
what you see isn't what's inside of me..

i can't speak, i'm lost for words,
i can't hear..
the silence burns a hole inside of me,
that I can't fill for the life of me..

now it's time for me to get on with my life
because our timing could have never been so bad..

2003-11-14T23:32:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: It Just Wont Do - Tim Deluxe
Currently wearing: jeans, one shoulder teal 74 shirt, white zip up
Current mood: too tired to be moody..
Currently thinking: im really cold
Message: hmm.. quite the laid back friday.. havnt had one of those in awhile.. went to the mall w/ christine and kendra.. mostly shopped @ Forever 21 (<3) and now im home.. yeah.. well enjoy xox

but sometimes there are things
that are worth the chance..
and when you find them
nothing else in the world matters..

all i want
is someone i cant resist..
you've got that certain something..
what you give me,
takes my breath away

its funny how we feel so much
but we cannot say a word

please take my hand
and fly away..
then you'll understand
that the love i have for you
is here to stay..

so just k i s s m e . . .
and let my hair messy itself
in your fingers..
let me steady myself
in the arms of a man
who won't ask me to be what he needs,
but lets me exist as i am..

2003-11-13T11:51:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Wheatus - Teenage Dirtbag
Currently wearing: t shirt, boxers, fuzzy slippers
Current mood: yeah..
Currently thinking: my thumb hurts
Message: well this week blowed..

the only thing we need sometimes
are chilly nights and warmer thighs..
cause there's nothin like being held..

cause im just a teenage dirtbag baby
yeh im just a teenage dirtbag baby
listen to iron maiden baby with me..

sometimes the things you complain the most about
are the things you care the most about..
unfortunately, you dont always know that
before its too late..

the best things in life are unseen..
thats why we close our eyes
to kiss.. cry.. and dream..

when two people love eachother
but they cant seem to get it together..
when do you get to the point
where enough is enough?..

2003-11-09T21:21:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Becky Baeling - Getaway
Currently wearing: brown jeans, white tank top, black v-neck
Current mood: happy =)
Currently thinking: damnit my cell is making my music make funny ticking noises
Message: wow this week is gonna be awesome.. tuesday AND thursday off! every day is gonna be like fun friday! haha im in such a good mood right now and normally im not on sundays cause sundays are always so damn boring and pointless and lazyyy =p i watched the moulin rouge this morning. i loveeeeeeee that movie <3. too bad ewan mcgregor is gay. hes pretty damn hot.. haha xox

i wanna feel the way you make me feel
when im around you..
i wanna be the only hand
you hold on to..

and when your back's aganist the wall
just turn around and you, you will see..
i will catch your, i will catch your fall..
just have a little faith, have a little faith in me..

all that i need to hear from you
something of value,
but something untrue..
all that i wished for that i'd find within you..

watching the days burning out like a cigarette..
just a few drags to go.
built me up and broke me down somehow..
everything just seemed so clear to me,
nothing left to know.
i'll love you right and love you pure..
right now..

even if i wanted to,
i don't think that i'd get to you..
there's nothing i can say
to make you feel alive again..

2003-11-08T22:01:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: D-Block - 2 Gunz Up
Currently wearing: jeans, white tank top + white zip up
Current mood: tired + bored
Currently thinking: its saturday
Message: oh boy.. havnt written in this puppy in awhile.. i dont remember anything exciting happening at school.. yesterday was cool tho.. Jason's 17th birthday, which led to a joyful party stocked w/ 18s and beer pong tables.. haha well worked today 12-8 *yipee..* but slept the whole day anyway. people.. come buy ice cream. i dont care if its november. buy some fucking ice cream so i dont waste my saturday sleeping in the ice cream chicken + ribs place.. anyway.. enjoy the quotes xox

i'm commited to insecurity and you.
and love is overrated..
it leaves you devastated..
heart ripped in two

life is only as good
as the memories we make it

what would you say if i asked you not to go
to forget everyone, forget everything
and start over with me.
would you take my hand and never let me go?
promise me you'll never let me go..

and the stars aren't out tonite
but neither are we to look up at them.
why does hello feel like goodbye?
these memories can't replace,
this wishes i wished
and these dreams i chased..

love? above all things i believe in love
love is like oxygen
love is a many splendored thing
love lifts us up where we belong
all you need is love!
-- <3 the Moulin Rouge <3 --

2003-11-04T18:16:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Timbaland & Magoo - Indian Flute
Currently wearing: what i wore to school and i dont match at ALL.. grr..
Current mood: all bubbly like a little schoolgirl
Currently thinking: i need to do my laundry
Message: i dont kno what i feel like writing today? well im happy and thats what matters haha except for that when i was on the phone last nite, i was drawing on a post it and then i started cutting it up into pretty designs to later find out it was a quote i had written down that i really liked from when i was watching sex & the city. oh well at least i made pretty designs =) haha enjoy the quotes..

love is like a role that we play

all our young lives
we search for someone to love,
someone who makes us complete..
we choose our partners
and change partners..
we dance to a song of heartbreak,
all the while wondering
if somewhere there is someone
searching for us..

trust me, i would build for you,
a world for you.
you'll never feel the cold
the nights will be all warm..

do you care if i dont know
what to say?
will you sleep tonite
or will you think of me?..

its not telling you how i feel
that scares me..
its what you'll say back..

2003-11-03T19:30:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Marques Houston - Clubbin
Currently wearing: dark jeans, red & black shirt
Current mood: still confused
Currently thinking: i want apple pie
Message: mm hmmm.. yes.. well.. haha aright not much to write, another boring monday.. it was sooo nice out though!! why is it 70 on november 3rd yet two weeks ago it was 40? hmm.. anyway.. on to the quotes.. x0x

like a movie scene
in the sweetest dream
i've pictured us together..

why do i never seem to learn?
that love is wrong
and boys are fucking evil

the things you make me wanna do
i'd rob a quik-e-mart for you
i'd go to the pound
and let all the cats go free
jus as long as you'd be with me

a star up in the sky
goes slowly passing by..
the lights below
they spell out your name..
you're comfort on my mind
and you're with me all the time
and lots of feelings that i cant explain..

shake down.. you make me break..
for goodness sake..
i think im on the edge
of something new with you..

2003-11-02T22:06:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Lex & Trevor Sunday Night Reggae Riddims - 93.7
Currently wearing: light blue sofee shorts, white shirt, and slippers =D
Current mood: confused
Currently thinking: why am i still up?
Message: well i did nothing today.. wasteful sunday like always.. oh wait, i took some pictures for tech photo and layed outside in the beautiful sun.. how productive.. haha enjoy x0x

out of all i've learned in life
you always keep your close friends to your heart.
cause who else will help you
if you're falling down?..

but i've got a bad case of a broken heart
and you're the only one whos got the cure
and i cant live another day
without seeing your smile..

you fall in love
then break your heart
then fall in love again.
its never ending..

its like lighting candles in the rain
sometimes life can be pain
but dont give up without a fight

but then i listen to my heart..
and it says..
still run back for more..

2003-11-01T21:33:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Jay Z - Change Clothes
Currently wearing: DKNY jeans & white shirt
Current mood: tired
Currently thinking: i wear white a lot
Message: hope everyone had a fantastic halloween.. after quite an eventful night, the whores slept over here like always (haha love ya girls). woke up, ate some strawberry blasted honeycombs in the awesomeee 70 weather.. then ruined it all with work 12-8 *whomp whomp..* gettin ready to go out again but thought i'd do this real quick.. enjoy.. x0x

you've been asking me to bleed
it seems these kinds of questions
they come to easily to you now..

they'll always be a place
for you
in my heart..

i dont wanna love you
but its something i love to do..

things are never what they seem
im stuck inside someone else's dream
problems never go away
im sick of being caught in yesterday

im sick of always crying
i dont wanna be sick of trying
but you've gotta want me too..

2003-10-30T18:08:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: 112 & Ludacris - Hot & Wet
Currently wearing: brown shirt and green jeans
Current mood: tired.. not feelin good..
Currently thinking: i wear brown a lot..
Message: ha.. once again.. changed the template.. yes i have issues and cant keep these damn things the same.. new tagboard thingy and this time its not on bleep mode (even tho i noticed you guys were having fun with that) so ummm enjoy! x0x

why cant i feel anything
for anyone other than you..

sometimes people try to bring you down
they wanna see you frown
just keep your faith in you

all wrong..
all wrong..
but you've got me..

i'll be true.. i'll be useful..
i'll be cavalier..
i'll be yours my dear..

try to understand
theres an old mistake
that fools will make
and im the king of them..
pushing everything thats good
a w a y . . .

2003-10-29T18:08:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: listening to 93.7
Currently eating/drinking: nothing
Currently wearing: brown shirt + jeans
Current mood: bad mood..
Currently thinking: i have work.. on halloween..

yes.. new template.. i like variety so me changing templates will happen a lot.. hmmm.. not much else to say.. ohhh.. the OC is on tonite..

wish i could prove
i love you..
does that mean
i have to walk on water?..

today's the tomorrow
you should have feared
yesterday

im pouring my heart out to you
and its nice to know
its not enough..
because i'll never be
e n o u g h . .

if only he knew
what he wanted inside..
if only he knew
jus how to decide..

risk. risk anything.
care no more
for the opinions of others,
for those voices.
do the hardest thing
on earth for you.
act for yourself.
face the truth.

2003-10-28T22:05:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: Jay Z - Change Clothes
Currently eating/drinking: nothing
Currently wearing: tank top, leopard print pj bottoms
Current mood: tired
Random thought: my job smells so discusting

a great pleasure in life
is doing what others say you cannot do
live the way you want
not the way everyone else expects you to

you got the best of me
doin what you doin..

until the day i die, i spill my heart out for you
i'll be the rope from your window
if you ever need to escape
you're my favorite ache inside
i'll be saving smiles for you..

whatever happens
we leave it all to chance
another heartache
another failed romance
on and on
does anybody know
what we are living for?

there's going to be some stuff you're
going to see thats going to make it
hard to smile in the future, but
through whatever you see,
through all the rain and all the pain,
you got to keep your sense of humor.
you got to be able to smile
through all the bullshit..

2003-10-27T15:31:00.000-05:00
Currently playing:: MVP & Stagga Lee - Rock Ya Body (Mic Check 1, 2)
Curently eating/drinking: nothing
Currently wearing: brown and pink pac sun shirt, candies jeans
Current mood: idk? kinda lazy
Random thought: i really really hate the bus

i think we dream so we dont have to be apart so long.
if we're in each other's dreams..
we can be together all the time..

there is fate.. but it only takes you so far..
because once you're up there
its up to you to make it happen

do not start today
with the broken pieces of yesterday..

being around you makes me feel like..
for once in my life..
i dont have to try to be happy.
it just happens..

i am good, but not an angel
i do sin, but i am not the devil
i am pretty, but not beautiful
i have friends, but i am not the peacemaker
i am just a small girl, in a big world,
trying to find someone to love..
Marilyn Monroe

2003-10-26T19:35:00.000-05:00
Currently playing: N.Y.C. Underground Party Volume 5 - Mixed by Louie Devito
Currently eating/drinking: nothing
Currently wearing: orange and white tank top, DKNY jeans
Current mood: shitty

im breaking my heart tonite..
so you can see whats inside..

this is right now..
this is forever..
and i want it to be
something more..

my eyes they cannot see
other guys that are cuter
and my ears they cannot hear
my friends say
i should walk away..

whats meant to be
will find a way..

it seems our day keeps falling on a leap year..